Back to the beach and one year older....

Back out at the beach this weekend.. Opened the apartment at Cherry Grove.. and enjoying the cool breeze

It's been a while.. im just chilling for the winter.. waiting for May when I can go to the beach.

I've been working on my store www.greengrocerbags.com , hopefully It will be successful.

It's so hard to get Google to index the site and actually be able to find it on a search page.

The holidays are over and things are getting back to the winter season again..

I just viewed a powerful video on you tube.. and the related blog on blogspot.com

It's so sad how ignorance kills...


See the You Tube Video


Go to Ahmet's Blog


....

It's the end of the summer at the beach (Cherry Grove, Fire island, NY).. I have to close my apartment in two weeks. Its good for a break but I will miss it. I wish I could come her in the winter but the building is closed from Nov to April because there is no winter water. (that doesn't freeze)

The deer are rummaging around for food and sometimes it feels like a petting zoo. Unfortunately there is no hunting season on Fire Island to sometimes the deer population gets a bit overrun. But the harsh winters seems to control the deer population naturally.

It's warm out here because the water is still warm.. but once the water cools it gets damp and very cold here.

This is a response I had after reading a post in a blog about sex parties and unsafe sex and HIV.. ..

Its a bit of a rant but its how i feel about the current state of gay socializing in Metropolitan New York City and being 54..

Very well said...

I know I'm ranting a little but at 54 I have witnessed to much, to speak about but I still remember when I see someone intentionally have poor judgement in a public sex situation (or even private). My first loss of a friend from HIV was in 1984 and I probably have witnessed at least 200 friends that have passed on or are struggling with the disease since then.... and begin to feel like a dinosaur with no community... I still remember and miss friends that are long gone and it only seems like yesterday that they died. Hell, I am surprised with all the running around I did in my younger years that I am not POZ myself and yet I still have to work to keep myself negative..

Youth and beauty are definitely disarable in todays youth oriented society.. and being older gets you ignored and tends to make you invisible in some social circles. No one wants the "old man" let alone have sex with him.

Sex is sex.. old or young it's the feeling and not what you look like or your age that matters in the end..

While I agree condom-less sex feels great , but I'd rather not become positive at the expense of a few minutes of fun. Especially, to have to endure endless medications that screw up your liver or living with chronic infections or having to sit on the toilet with constant diarrhea, being tired, getting facial or body wasting, peripheral neuropathy, loosing all your peripheral body fat due to meds, or have a blood cholesterol level that of salad oil at 1200.. Need i go on?

It's just not as easy as "there are pills for it" and its "only" a chronic condition.

Young, hot and sensible might love and live a little longer but only when we understand that the old people you avoid were once the young people that you might have been attracted to. Age, being POZ, having a disability, cancer, grey hair, a little bit or even a lot fat, etc doesn't change how we feel about connecting with others.. the ability to love , have sex , be happy etc.. They are more like scenic stops on our way through life.

Hey everyone..

Haven't posted in a while.. We closed up the summer apartment at the beach.. looking forward to next May.. It will be great to get back to the water.

Christmas is so far quiet.. went to the NYCGMC concert last night to start the holiday season.. It was a great show..

I have been slacking off on getting to the gym, the right ankle has been a problem.. Found out I have tarsal tunnel (like carpal tunnel in the wrist) and its been causing some pain in the foot enough to not want to exercise.. (it sux)

Hope everyone is having a good holiday season so far.. We who are comfortable should be grateful for what we have and realize how easily it could all go away.

Peace..

I found this prayer on Tribe.net..

-----

Remember always that you are just a visitor here, a traveler passing though, your stay is but short and the moment of your departure unknown.

None can live without toil and a craft that provides your needs is a blessing indeed.

Speak quietly and kindly and be not forward with either opinions or advice.

If you talk much, this will make you deaf to what others say, and you should know that there are few so wise that they cannot learn from others.

Be near when help is needed, but far when praise and thanks are being offered.

Take small account of might, wealth and fame, for they soon pass and are forgotten.

Instead, nurture love within you and strive to be a friend to all.

Truly, compassion is a balm for many wounds.

Treasure silence when you find it, and while being mindful of your duties, set time aside to be alone with yourself.

Cast off pretense and self-deception and see yourself as you really are.

Despite all appearances, no one is really evil. They are led astray by ignorance.

If you ponder this truth always, you will offer more light, rather than condemnation.

You, no less than all beings, have Buddha nature within.

Your essential mind is pure. Therefore, when defilements cause you to stumble and fall, let not remorse nor dark foreboding cast you down.

Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on.

Faith is like a lamp and wisdom makes the flame burn bright.

Carry this lamp always and in good time, the darkeness will yeild and you will abide in the light.

-Dhammavadaka Sutta

Hi folks..

This week was really busy.. Lots of updates to desktops at work and on our Citrix servers as usual.

Today the beach has changed from summer to winter.. a 70ish damp cool wind is blowing in from the ocean. Feels like late October..

My husband and I will be visiting friends in Munich for Oktoberfest.. and Yes it starts in September!!! But September in Germany is nice. Warm in the days and cool at night.

Its been a quick summer this year.. we will be closing the summer place in a few weeks and the rest of the fall will be spent home after Oktoberfest.

However, there are some exciting new developments coming..

A group of Flaggers in NY City have decided to get together and practice on a regular basis at Ripley Grier Studios. This will be fun and also be good exercise. http://www.ripleygrier.com

Its 83 degrees at the beach.. feels like July.. I am a bit anxious about the upcoming anniversary of 9-11.. I hate media hype about a very tragic moment in New York's and the countries history..

When I walk down by the site of the World Trade Center in New York I still feel the loss and absence of the energy that was there..

That day is always in my mind.. You can never forget it.

Haven't posted in a long time ..

Finishing up the summer out at Fire Island and I'm looking forward to a great fall..

I will be at Oktobearfest in Munich, Germany, the weekend of Sep 22 to visit some old friends and enjoy the beer..

Is it me or do all of these adult meeting boards just a place to create endless emails and messages with nothing happening..

I really think the Internet has made some people a bit isolated and they forget how to socialize..

And with all the technology to use and all the media available , who has time to socialize outside of email and instant messaging.. How much intimacy can "r u there" get across.??

Maybe I'm just too old school (or just too old) and expect common courtesy..

Just updated my profile on Big Muscle Bears..

Still not much to do this winter.. except be cold.. 20 degrees and wind in NYC is not pretty..

Seems like I'm working too much without any play time.. Got to do something about that.. but at 53 there are not a lot of options..

You know the youngsters and clubs start thinking you are too old.. so your not encouraged to go out.. or be included..

And clubbing or going out without friends gets old fast..

NYC social life usto be really fun years ago.. but i think the internet has screwed that up.. Why socialize when you can chat in a chat room or on your phone.. instead of going out..

I really need to keep writing..

I changed work and now work in Manhattan at 30 Rockefeller Plaza as a Citrix Systems Engineer. Its great work but does take more of my time..

So my art is suffering and there hasn't been many places/events to Flag Dance lately.. ..

I plan on making some flags this weekend with a friend. We are going to Tye dye silk for them and see what happens..

About a month ago I reconnected with a long lost friend that has been traveling and living in Asia for the last six years.. We talked last night for almost 3 hrs and figured how to make Skype work on his computer so now the calls will be free.. But even on Vonage the rates are only .12 cents a minute.

Enjoy Life....

I'm at the beach at Cherry Grove Fire Island. It is actually a bit cold at night.

The beach is really clean this year. The day time heat seems to be really bothersom to me , dont know why except that at work its always cold in the computer rooms.

Why do i need people to push my buttons when I can do it all by myself?

How are you doing..

It was in the 80's yesterday , Ahh Spring is here..

snowed more last nite.. but spring is close..

Hmmm... came down with hives yesterday and they are itching a lot today... Well whatever I ate will take 48 hrs to work its way thru my body..

My Mood.. Actually its driving down Rt 4 to New York City late at night  

Today was a bit rough.. My mood was agitated and felt like crap..

Can't wait for bright sun and the beach.